Call me Mossimo

Look at me. Do you SEE the misery written all over my face?



So what if Halloween is my Mom's favorite time of year, why doe she subject me to this?



On her walk home she was inspired by a plethora of Pumpkins outside the hardware store, bought FOUR of them and proceeded to decorate her house. She even went through her decorations box to retreive the fall trinkets like a glowing pumpkin and a witch for the front door. Unfortunatly she also found last years Halloween costume and wanted to play dress up. It didn't end there. She tried to stick me in the witches hat so it looked like I was a rabbit being pulled from a hat. Then she dressed me up in HER old witches costume(just the headband). This is why I have pictures of me looking like an evil punk rock bride standing next to pumpkins.



I felt really vindicated when, as Mom was putting up some decorations above the cupboards in the kitchen, she fell. She was like 9 feet in the air and fell right to the ground and almost hit her head on the F@#$ microwave. She then called her mom out to yell at her for even suggesting that she should decorate on top of her cupboards when she doesn't have a step ladder. Mom's mom laughed and told her not to use the folding picnic chair the next time.

I hid under the ouch and glorified in her clumsiness. Serves her right for making me wear womens clothing. I'm a MAN.


PS: The crossing guard who always gives me treats on teh morning walk began to call me Mossimo instead of Milo. I kinda of like this and haven't corrected her yet.

I'm Back!

Well, my loyal readers, I have returned to the big apple!

Me and Mom on the Train

At first I was shocked and dismayed at Midtown Manhattan - what a dung hole. The buses were shooting smoke and dirt, people were rushing past me and some 45 year old idiot delivery "boy" almost ran me over. I really missed Wexford and the lush grass, verdant foliage and especially Mom's Mom and Dad. But then mom took me back to Brooklyn where I quickly re-aclimatized and have perked up quite a bit.

Last night I met a new friend, Mr. Random. We walked all over town and the cast of Law and Order sit around waiting for their next scene. Mom thought that the men in badges were real detectives gaurding the cast but in fact it was really some famous actor. Mom never watches that show so she doesn't really care who plays in it.

I still haven't had much to eat or drink, I want Mom to know just how pissed I am that she dropped me off for a THREE MONTH vacation. I really had fun in PA and I can't wait till next summer. Molnar Summer camp rules.

Salute from Suburbia

Hi!! I'm Back! Well, not really - I'm not back home yet, but I will be soon!
I'm still living in Pittsburgh with mom's family...we're having lots of fun! I play all the time here, it's Great! I've gone through 3 heava-beavers since I got here!!! I'm Always chewing something...

They also buy bones and pig ears for us to chew...I think it's so we aren't always asking to play. Well, me...Cleo is usually pretty chilled-out (stagnant). Cleo is mom's dog from ages ago, but she stayed with mom's family when mom went to school and grew up. She's older and just a *little* bigger than me...
See, I get the big bone's too, they're only 1/2 my size! *actually I steal them from Cleo until she takes them back and hides them...

Tom (mom's dad) works from home, so I have a buddy to hang out with all day, he's so cool! Tom and Kathy (mom's mom) had a whole bunch of yardwork last month - Tom was building a retaining wall and they had mulch (it's so much fun to play in!) I bark and bark if they don't let me out to run around when they're outside. I'm constantly running around - they have to pick me up and drop me in front of the water bowl to get me to slow down....if they can catch me!




Mom's sister Julie and her boyfriend Shannon brought his roomate's dog Ayashe (Ah-Yah-Hey) to visit us one Sunday. Ayashe is only 6 months old but she's a HUGE german shepard mix! Yeah, she's also a drinker. But we kept her mind off the alcohol for a day and had so much fun! I didn't like her at first and just ignored her pretty much. I mean, I had to show her who was boss, right? Just 'cause she's big doesn't mean anything! But after she got hooked up in the backyard I got to run around free and play with her. Cleo even started playing with us!! If they can ever get the digital camera to work with the computer and make it not freeze, maybe you'll get to see all the pictures of us! And of me and my special purple ball...Julie has a video of us on her phone, but she can't send it so you'll just have to wait for the pictures.

I miss mom. I wish I could play you the voicemail she left me on Aunt J's phone - she played it for me and it made me miss mom sooooo much!
This is the face I made after Julie played it. I love you mom! I'll be home soon!

MUAH!

So Sad

Mom and I went to the country to visit with Mom's family. There was another dog there, her name was Cleopatra. I was confused most of the time because Cleo and Milo sound so much alike. Mom called her brother Michael, Milo a bunch too! Ha.

I had a really great time hanging out with Mom's mom and dad. They played tug of war, fetch, and wrestled with me! Mom's mom took care of me all day on friday. I played fetch with al of these little kids, my moms cousins, they accidently threw the ball in the water. I had no idea what a swimming ppol was and by accident I ran in after it! Poor me, I tried to swim but the shock of being immersed in water, which I hate, I almost drowned. Mom's cousin Will, who is 8, jumped in to save me. wheew!

This is Mom's mom.

Mom's mom didn't watch me very well and I played so hard on concrete that I hurt my paws - I couldn't walk for two days because my pads were so cut up. ouch! I had to wear neosporin and gauze on my feet the whole weekend. Mom's mom felt terrible and Mom harassed her about being a bad grandma for the whole weekend. Mom's mom said that she didn't like being called grandma. Mom thinks thats a good thing.

So I had a great time, until Mom packed her things and left me behind. Now I am here stranded in Rural PA and I miss my mommy. She promised me that she would be back but I don't know when. I think she is nervous about a possible trip to South AFrica and she didn't want to have to scramble around to find a friend to keep me. I am sooooo sad. My mommy cried when she left me.

This is Mom and Mom's Mom

Today when Mom's mom left me she tried to take me outside via tha basement door. I am too smart for her, and I knew that Mom's mom likes to leave the Doggies in the basement when she leaves for the day. SO, I AM SO SMART. I ran away from her and hid under the bed that my mommy should be sleeping in. Mom's mom found me and took me outside.

Mom's mom has figured out that I must sleep on Mom's bed all day and look out the window. She has come to this deduction because I curl up on the pillows of Mom's mom favorite couch and stare out the windows waiting for someone to come home. Mom's mom doesn't like the fact that I am sleeping on her best living room couch, but then, what can she do?

This is actually Mom's mom family room couch, but you get the idea.

Blood, everywhere

Last night I was attacked by a german shepard. I have reconvered but my mom had a heart attack.

This asshole dog, Hooper, wanted to hump me. I told him to fuck off. Then after the fourth or fifth time, he didn't like the way I was saying get lost and he attacked me. He went straight for the jugular.

Everyone in the dog run freaked out. Mom started shaking and Hoopers owner left without checking to see if I was hurt. There was blood everywhere and I was in total shock. Luckily the fucker only got a piece of my ear. I also have a huge paw scratch on the top of my head.

Mom is so pissed.

Weekend

My mom is gone all the time now and when she's around she is totally stressing my out. My mom's friend, Julie, from Kent State is staying at our apartment this weekend while mom and I are back at home for the 80th b-day fete. That means my mom is a house-re-arranging, cleaning, working-out nutball.

Yesterday she took off work because The Fridge was finally going to be delivered. hummmm... Well, it seems that the guys brought The Fridge IN but couldn't fit it into the refridgerator niche. So The Fridge is in the middle of the kitchen and the rest of the house is in chaos.

On Sunday Mom went to Target and spent buckets on house stuff. She got home and was totally shocked to see how much more she needed to buy. She bought me a cute little canister for my treats. Now that she has a place to put my treats, she wants to use it and that means I get biscuits all the time now!

On Sunday I was supposed to see my old buddy Mr. Ex-BF. Unfortunatly I came to the realization that Mr. Ex is a total wimp who can't even call to confirm plans with my mom, who he dated for 2 years. This really pissed mom off. What kind of guy can't call to say "so are we meeting up on Sunday, whats going on?"

Mom is totally sick of pampering people and making their lives easier. Noone does that to her so she has decided to act a little more New York. It seems that in NY people are only concerned with themselves and their own feelings. Mom would rather make a fool of herself than hurt someone else. This needs to stop. Mom has to come to the realization that people need to deal with their feelings and she has to get a little tougher, not be so easy on people.

Mom was looking for what she had learned in the past few years and that seems to be the overriding answer. Worry about yourself. She isn't really happy with this realization, she always wanted to think that people were innately alturistic and good. Unfortunatly she is wrong. The last few years have shown her that people don't really care about other people unless it suits them. People are scared of rejection, scared of the unknown, scared of trying new things. They become isolated in one communtiy and become intolerant of other people. My mom wonders if this is her future. hmm....v. interesting

On one hand, you sure know a lot about one topic. you would almost be an expert! You could progress in your job, you could immerse yourself in your field of interest, you could carry on intense serious debate with your friends who are interested in the same thing.

For me, I don't agree. My mom needs a little bit of diversity, fun, excitement, action, adventure. I think she would rather experience a lot than corner myself in a world of like minded people. Have you ever noticed that people who only know one thing are pretty boring?

cauchemar

My mommy had a really bad dream last night. She dreamt that I was a tiny Chihuahua (mom looked that word up by googling 'taco bell dog'). In my mom's dream I was on a yacht. Somehow we were thrown overboard and my mom and I were in the water. Then the boat came and ran me over. Mom survived.

Now Mom is freaking the fuck out. She is worrying about everything and I think that I have to head to the vet soon to ease her mental anguish. Mom thinks that the Cement ground at the dog run is ruining my paws. She is always looking at the bruises and cuts on my feet and then dousing my with neosporin. When she woke up from that nightmare my mom felt my nose and she believes that it is too dry and that I have caught a doogy cold. Mom has suddenly started feeding me more that my usual one cup of food a day. I think Im going to explode.

Maybe mom feels guilty about something but I have no idea what? Maybe the shitty suyper, Danny, how hasn't arranged for the fridge but is hasseling mom about parking her bike outside. Maybe about the rent that she has not paid this month because she has not received her fridge yet. Maybe about a new job? Maybe about everything and then she looks at me and thinks, Milo must be sick.