Dog of the Blog

Call me Mossimo

2005-09-28T12:13:00.000-07:00

Look at me. Do you SEE the misery written all over my face?

So what if Halloween is my Mom's favorite time of year, why doe she subject me to this?

On her walk home she was inspired by a plethora of Pumpkins outside the hardware store, bought FOUR of them and proceeded to decorate her house. She even went through her decorations box to retreive the fall trinkets like a glowing pumpkin and a witch for the front door. Unfortunatly she also found last years Halloween costume and wanted to play dress up. It didn't end there. She tried to stick me in the witches hat so it looked like I was a rabbit being pulled from a hat. Then she dressed me up in HER old witches costume(just the headband). This is why I have pictures of me looking like an evil punk rock bride standing next to pumpkins.

I felt really vindicated when, as Mom was putting up some decorations above the cupboards in the kitchen, she fell. She was like 9 feet in the air and fell right to the ground and almost hit her head on the F@#$ microwave. She then called her mom out to yell at her for even suggesting that she should decorate on top of her cupboards when she doesn't have a step ladder. Mom's mom laughed and told her not to use the folding picnic chair the next time.

I hid under the ouch and glorified in her clumsiness. Serves her right for making me wear womens clothing. I'm a MAN.

PS: The crossing guard who always gives me treats on teh morning walk began to call me Mossimo instead of Milo. I kinda of like this and haven't corrected her yet.

I'm Back!

2005-09-21T10:45:00.000-07:00

Well, my loyal readers, I have returned to the big apple!

Me and Mom on the Train

At first I was shocked and dismayed at Midtown Manhattan - what a dung hole. The buses were shooting smoke and dirt, people were rushing past me and some 45 year old idiot delivery "boy" almost ran me over. I really missed Wexford and the lush grass, verdant foliage and especially Mom's Mom and Dad. But then mom took me back to Brooklyn where I quickly re-aclimatized and have perked up quite a bit.

Last night I met a new friend, Mr. Random. We walked all over town and the cast of Law and Order sit around waiting for their next scene. Mom thought that the men in badges were real detectives gaurding the cast but in fact it was really some famous actor. Mom never watches that show so she doesn't really care who plays in it.

I still haven't had much to eat or drink, I want Mom to know just how pissed I am that she dropped me off for a THREE MONTH vacation. I really had fun in PA and I can't wait till next summer. Molnar Summer camp rules.

Salute from Suburbia

2005-07-14T17:21:00.000-07:00

Hi!! I'm Back! Well, not really - I'm not back home yet, but I will be soon!
I'm still living in Pittsburgh with mom's family...we're having lots of fun! I play all the time here, it's Great! I've gone through 3 heava-beavers since I got here!!! I'm Always chewing something...

They also buy bones and pig ears for us to chew...I think it's so we aren't always asking to play. Well, me...Cleo is usually pretty chilled-out (stagnant). Cleo is mom's dog from ages ago, but she stayed with mom's family when mom went to school and grew up. She's older and just a *little* bigger than me...
See, I get the big bone's too, they're only 1/2 my size! *actually I steal them from Cleo until she takes them back and hides them...

Tom (mom's dad) works from home, so I have a buddy to hang out with all day, he's so cool! Tom and Kathy (mom's mom) had a whole bunch of yardwork last month - Tom was building a retaining wall and they had mulch (it's so much fun to play in!) I bark and bark if they don't let me out to run around when they're outside. I'm constantly running around - they have to pick me up and drop me in front of the water bowl to get me to slow down....if they can catch me!

Mom's sister Julie and her boyfriend Shannon brought his roomate's dog Ayashe (Ah-Yah-Hey) to visit us one Sunday. Ayashe is only 6 months old but she's a HUGE german shepard mix! Yeah, she's also a drinker. But we kept her mind off the alcohol for a day and had so much fun! I didn't like her at first and just ignored her pretty much. I mean, I had to show her who was boss, right? Just 'cause she's big doesn't mean anything! But after she got hooked up in the backyard I got to run around free and play with her. Cleo even started playing with us!! If they can ever get the digital camera to work with the computer and make it not freeze, maybe you'll get to see all the pictures of us! And of me and my special purple ball...Julie has a video of us on her phone, but she can't send it so you'll just have to wait for the pictures.

I miss mom. I wish I could play you the voicemail she left me on Aunt J's phone - she played it for me and it made me miss mom sooooo much!
This is the face I made after Julie played it. I love you mom! I'll be home soon!

MUAH!

So Sad

2005-06-01T06:10:00.000-07:00

Mom and I went to the country to visit with Mom's family. There was another dog there, her name was Cleopatra. I was confused most of the time because Cleo and Milo sound so much alike. Mom called her brother Michael, Milo a bunch too! Ha.

I had a really great time hanging out with Mom's mom and dad. They played tug of war, fetch, and wrestled with me! Mom's mom took care of me all day on friday. I played fetch with al of these little kids, my moms cousins, they accidently threw the ball in the water. I had no idea what a swimming ppol was and by accident I ran in after it! Poor me, I tried to swim but the shock of being immersed in water, which I hate, I almost drowned. Mom's cousin Will, who is 8, jumped in to save me. wheew!

This is Mom's mom.

Mom's mom didn't watch me very well and I played so hard on concrete that I hurt my paws - I couldn't walk for two days because my pads were so cut up. ouch! I had to wear neosporin and gauze on my feet the whole weekend. Mom's mom felt terrible and Mom harassed her about being a bad grandma for the whole weekend. Mom's mom said that she didn't like being called grandma. Mom thinks thats a good thing.

So I had a great time, until Mom packed her things and left me behind. Now I am here stranded in Rural PA and I miss my mommy. She promised me that she would be back but I don't know when. I think she is nervous about a possible trip to South AFrica and she didn't want to have to scramble around to find a friend to keep me. I am sooooo sad. My mommy cried when she left me.

This is Mom and Mom's Mom

Today when Mom's mom left me she tried to take me outside via tha basement door. I am too smart for her, and I knew that Mom's mom likes to leave the Doggies in the basement when she leaves for the day. SO, I AM SO SMART. I ran away from her and hid under the bed that my mommy should be sleeping in. Mom's mom found me and took me outside.

Mom's mom has figured out that I must sleep on Mom's bed all day and look out the window. She has come to this deduction because I curl up on the pillows of Mom's mom favorite couch and stare out the windows waiting for someone to come home. Mom's mom doesn't like the fact that I am sleeping on her best living room couch, but then, what can she do?

This is actually Mom's mom family room couch, but you get the idea.

Blood, everywhere

2005-05-26T11:09:00.000-07:00

Last night I was attacked by a german shepard. I have reconvered but my mom had a heart attack.

This asshole dog, Hooper, wanted to hump me. I told him to fuck off. Then after the fourth or fifth time, he didn't like the way I was saying get lost and he attacked me. He went straight for the jugular.

Everyone in the dog run freaked out. Mom started shaking and Hoopers owner left without checking to see if I was hurt. There was blood everywhere and I was in total shock. Luckily the fucker only got a piece of my ear. I also have a huge paw scratch on the top of my head.

Mom is so pissed.

Weekend

2005-05-24T09:57:00.000-07:00

My mom is gone all the time now and when she's around she is totally stressing my out. My mom's friend, Julie, from Kent State is staying at our apartment this weekend while mom and I are back at home for the 80th b-day fete. That means my mom is a house-re-arranging, cleaning, working-out nutball.

Yesterday she took off work because The Fridge was finally going to be delivered. hummmm... Well, it seems that the guys brought The Fridge IN but couldn't fit it into the refridgerator niche. So The Fridge is in the middle of the kitchen and the rest of the house is in chaos.

On Sunday Mom went to Target and spent buckets on house stuff. She got home and was totally shocked to see how much more she needed to buy. She bought me a cute little canister for my treats. Now that she has a place to put my treats, she wants to use it and that means I get biscuits all the time now!

On Sunday I was supposed to see my old buddy Mr. Ex-BF. Unfortunatly I came to the realization that Mr. Ex is a total wimp who can't even call to confirm plans with my mom, who he dated for 2 years. This really pissed mom off. What kind of guy can't call to say "so are we meeting up on Sunday, whats going on?"

Mom is totally sick of pampering people and making their lives easier. Noone does that to her so she has decided to act a little more New York. It seems that in NY people are only concerned with themselves and their own feelings. Mom would rather make a fool of herself than hurt someone else. This needs to stop. Mom has to come to the realization that people need to deal with their feelings and she has to get a little tougher, not be so easy on people.

Mom was looking for what she had learned in the past few years and that seems to be the overriding answer. Worry about yourself. She isn't really happy with this realization, she always wanted to think that people were innately alturistic and good. Unfortunatly she is wrong. The last few years have shown her that people don't really care about other people unless it suits them. People are scared of rejection, scared of the unknown, scared of trying new things. They become isolated in one communtiy and become intolerant of other people. My mom wonders if this is her future. hmm....v. interesting

On one hand, you sure know a lot about one topic. you would almost be an expert! You could progress in your job, you could immerse yourself in your field of interest, you could carry on intense serious debate with your friends who are interested in the same thing.

For me, I don't agree. My mom needs a little bit of diversity, fun, excitement, action, adventure. I think she would rather experience a lot than corner myself in a world of like minded people. Have you ever noticed that people who only know one thing are pretty boring?

cauchemar

2005-05-19T08:22:00.000-07:00

My mommy had a really bad dream last night. She dreamt that I was a tiny Chihuahua (mom looked that word up by googling 'taco bell dog'). In my mom's dream I was on a yacht. Somehow we were thrown overboard and my mom and I were in the water. Then the boat came and ran me over. Mom survived.

Now Mom is freaking the fuck out. She is worrying about everything and I think that I have to head to the vet soon to ease her mental anguish. Mom thinks that the Cement ground at the dog run is ruining my paws. She is always looking at the bruises and cuts on my feet and then dousing my with neosporin. When she woke up from that nightmare my mom felt my nose and she believes that it is too dry and that I have caught a doogy cold. Mom has suddenly started feeding me more that my usual one cup of food a day. I think Im going to explode.

Maybe mom feels guilty about something but I have no idea what? Maybe the shitty suyper, Danny, how hasn't arranged for the fridge but is hasseling mom about parking her bike outside. Maybe about the rent that she has not paid this month because she has not received her fridge yet. Maybe about a new job? Maybe about everything and then she looks at me and thinks, Milo must be sick.

Laundry Day

2005-05-16T07:15:00.000-07:00

I had a great great weekend, other than the fact that mom and I soent over 5 hours doing laundry on Saturday. I really like dirty laundry, I like to sleep on piles of moms clothes and bury myself in her laundry basket. I get to do this alot because Mom NEVER does her chores. The last time she did laundry it was over a month ago!

Milo and the Pig

2005-05-12T07:41:00.000-07:00

Last night my mom thought it was a good idea to take me to Manhattan, its been so long since I have been to town, I almost forgot what it was like! She said that I was going to meet a new friend named Pig and Pigs mom Laura.

This is my new friend Pig.

Mom and Laura polished off two bottles of wine and the night is a big of a blur. We all went to this nice french-y bar where we sat in window. People would walk by and look at Pig and I playing on the street by the window, of course, we were the main attraction of the night.

Mom and Laura ended up really drunk, and the night passed super quick. Mom was amazed to see how quickly the bottles piled up. Ugg.. today she's feeling a little worse for wear.

When Mom woke up this morning and wasn't sure where I was! She made us take the subway back home and she let me stand on the dirty subway ground. I could tell she was a little wobbly so I tried to be on my best behavior. Mom doesn't really remember the trip home.

Ass handed to me on a platter

2005-05-11T08:05:00.000-07:00

My mom has been so strange lately. Usually she is this manic crazy woman, buzzing around, nosing into other people's lives. But recently my mom has decided to be a recluse, which is great for me because I get loads and loads of attention. She has decided that instead of going out of her way to be nice and inviting to people that she is going to clam up and see what happens. THis is completely against her nature so I don't think it will last very long. She can't even seem to be crabby towards Vin when he calls. She tries really hard to be mean but Mom is not really a mean person and she doesn't like to make people feel bad.
Anway, Mom has been trying to act very solitary at the Dog Run. I guess she thinks that because she goes there everyday, there is no need to buddy up to people right away. She especially had her eye on this cute english guy and figured that the slow get-to-know approach is better that her usual HI! I on the other hand have met everyone, including this guy, who I think is pretty cool too.
Anway, last night mom had her big chance to talk Mr. UK when I got in a fight. I was trying to stop all these dogs from tailing me. This big dog Duke, really liked the way I peeded on the bushes last night and would not leave me alone. Then the whole pack of dogs was following me. Now, Im a pretty small squirt with a huge doggy ego and I couldn't let this continue. So I gave a big ruff and told all the dogs to go to hell. Unfortunatly this ugly foxy dog didn't listen and he came right back at me. I held my ground until the foxy dog pawed me on the head, then I started to cry for mom. Mom came running, along with everyone else in the dog run.
The sexy Mr. UK explained that the foxy dog started the fight and mom was too concerned about me to give him the attention he wanted and so Mr. UK walked away.
Just when everything calmed down mom was going to walk over to Mr. UK but sadly Mrs. UK walked in the door. Mom realized that men with dogs usually have girlfriends.

Now I'm not going to be able to go to the dog run nearly as much and now I have this terible scar smack on the top of my head. At least the other guys know that I'm a tough guy.

I'm a doggie Rock Star

2005-05-06T06:33:00.000-07:00

Last night I earned the title, Bad Ass. Yes, I am the ultimate big dog.

I went to the run last night and I showed each and every big dog just who I am - a mean, lean humping machine.

Mom let me hang out for loads longer than usual because she was sharing a six pack of beer with some other dog owners, she thinks Brooklyn dog owners are WAY cooler than those on the west side. I strutted my stuff, performed the obligatory sniff to each and every dog there and then proved my manhood with all the dogs in the park.

My mom was really embarassed at first and then she realized, this is a great way to meet people. I hump their dog, my mom apologizes, then everyone has a beer. Brillant.

My mom felt pretty full of herself when she realized that I was the dominant dog at the park. How often to female dog owners raise a dominant male dog, who is OK wearing hats and booties and boas? I weigh 13lbs and I can hold my own.

When another Boston entered the dog arena, my mom realized just how aggresive I really am. THe other boston, Elvis (so original) was frightened by the big un-neurtered German Shepard but I totally kicked his ass and made him whine like a baby. Don't fuck with me! My mom thinks that the other dogs were just letting me win, and that I am going to be sent to the Vet with bite marks very soon. I know the truth, this will never happen, I am the Doggie Bad Ass.

I haven't humped in almost a year and last night felt good! Granted I am almost a eunich but mentally, I am a testosterone laden sperm machine.

Speaking of Eunichs, dog run folklore was at an all time high last night. In Carroll Gardens there is a rabbit that lives in a real estate storefront. "How much is that rabbit in the window" kind of thing. Three months ago a big dog went into the office and bit the penis off the rabbit! The rabbit survived and the penis was located and stiched back on. Amazing.

2005-05-05T08:22:00.000-07:00

Jeeze. I was so excited about last night, my mom was supposed to interview this girl who was going to be my new dogwalker!!! But my mom is a crackhead and was having drinks in Manhattan (At the woofing ridiculously overpriced and overhyped Spice Market) and she totally missed the appointment. She said came home talking jibberish about some deliciously tasty ginger margarita and those stupid wasabi peas. I have tasted those peas, let me tell you, they make me sneeze.

Mom is getting a little bitchy at home. I think she is getting nervous about her job situation and her evident lack of motivation to find a new job. Maybe what she really wants is to stay at home and walk dogs all day.. (not really, mom needs a little more brain stimulation than that)

Anyway, I bought a new bed and some great toys for myself. The bed is not as comfy as my moms bed but I wanted to impress my new dog walker. My mom thought about ordering some feather boas from http://girlmeetsdog.com/ but I convinced her not too. That woman loves to waste money and dress me up. I have to break this bad habit.

hummmm...

2005-05-03T06:54:00.000-07:00

Last night was woofing boring. I really wanted to play with my ball and run around outside but my mom just took me on a walk around the block. My favorite game in times like these is this: I find a little piece of lint, or a bobby pin or a rubberband on the floor and I try to bite it. Mommy just cleaned last night so it was a little hared than usual to find something but after a while I found a screw! SO the game is this, you pick up the screw with your mouth and throw it in the air, then you try to find it. I love this game! The only funny thing is that putting my nose on the ground makes my nose tickely and then I start to sneeze. Mom always laughs at me when I play this game.

Mom said that the only bad thing about brooklyn is that it has too many pizza parlors and not enough take out. I think she just doesn't have enough menu's yet.

Weekend Update

2005-05-02T11:06:00.000-07:00

This was a great weekend to be a dog. Even though it was raining, I went out sooo much this weekend. My mom woke up so early on Saturday morning, I didn't even want to get out of bed when she threw back the covers. I guess she was super duper excited to have a morning coffee?
Anyway, I think my mom started drinking really early on Saturday, 10:45. I guess she figured that she didn't have anything better to do and noone wanted to hang out at 10am and get loaded, so she just started off on her own. I went back sleep and when i woke up she was more than half way through with her bottle of Kendell Jackson Chardoney. I don't like alcohol at all. When my mom lets me sniff her glass i run away ans sneeze. In fact, when i realize she's drinking I can't help sneezing. My nose is really short, thats why I sneeze so much.

So my mom called JAPAN and talked to her friend in Tokyo for a while. Silly nilly, she is going to PAY for that one. I am suprised she didn't call her ex boyfriend Vinnie, who she sometimes accidently refers to as Jack. Isn't that funny?

SO mom passed out at 12:00 and then when she woke up it was still early afternoon and the rain had stopped!
Yeah!!!
Mom and I went shopping and she found a whole new section of Brooklyn, called Brooklyn Heights, its far away but close enough to walk. Then it started to rain and we got sooo went, I started to smell a little. Mom made us go home.

BUT she took me back the Brooklyn Heights on Sunday. It was great, I saw this amazing view of Manhattan and mom laid on a bench and read a really good book called "Assassination vacation". We chilled out in the sun and really admired the city. its nice living outside the city. We are close enough that we can chose to inject ourseelves with the frenetic energy of the city, but iots fabulous to go home and hear crickets. The brownstones in brooklyn heights are beautiful and I can't believe how lucky I am to live around such fun places to eat. All the little clothing stores love me and feed me biscuits all the time!!

It was really funny, I was awalking without a leash on the promenade and trying to listen really well. Mom kept yelling at me to stay close and I was just sniffing the plants or eating the food on the ground. Some woman went up to mom and asked if we were in Prospect Park last weekend. Mom was amazed, yep we were in Prospect park last weekend! Mom asked how she knew, and the nice lady laughed and said that I wasn't listening well in Prospect park either! I was so upset, I WAS TRYING to listen... oh well. Brooklyn must be really small!

Mom found a cool new dog run and I played for hours. I met a really cute mini pin whose owner was a hip boy with cute hair. My mom talked to him a little and then got nervous and tripped and made a fool of herself. My mom is so goofy, she's always tripping, or falling or bumbing into stuff. the boy laughed at mom, and mom said that she hoped to see him around. I think we are going back to that big dog run next sunday! Mom said its by the fun ice cream store in Dumbo and if I am really good she will take me back to a bar where we listened to some music with Vinnie, when he was still around.

After the dog run I had to walk up this huge hill to get home, right at the top there was a group of old people waiting for me with water and treats I was so thirsty! The man talked funny, my mom said he was "touched" but he was great when he offered me lots of treats.

I was so tired after playing outside all day that i passed out when I got hime. Mom and I took a seven hour nap and missed a show that she likes to watch. We woke up at 1200, mom cleaned the house and bathed me and then we went back to bed. It was pretty fun!

Dog Blog

2005-04-28T13:22:00.000-07:00

My name is Milo and I am a Boston Terrier.

I moved to Manhattan when I was six weeks old from Port Clinton, Ohio. One day my mom swept into my small suburban house where I lived with my mom and brothers and sisters. Everything was fairly normal untill that day. I wresteled with my brothers, tormented my sister, and even though i was confined to a four by four living area, I was a pretty satisfied puppy.

Then suddenly a knock on the door, I got so excited I just knew it was someone special. I started barking and barking for her to come see ME. Then before I knew if my Manhattan mommy handed over half her rent money and chose ME!

This was my first picture of me and mom. Check out her hair, isn't is terrible. I was worried when i realized that I had to go home with a crazy woman, but she's really not that bad. On our first day together she took me to her college "homecoming game". I have no idea what that is but it was loud and there were a lot of people around who wanted to touch me. Mommy was mega-protective but I think she wanted everyone to see how cute i was. Then she took me to a BAR! Can you believ this, I wasn't fully weened when mom decided that it was time I got used to lots and lots of people. At the time I didn't know that I was moving to the Capital of the Free World and I thought Ohio was pretty crowded! At my first trip to a restaurant I accidently peeded on the carpet. mommy said not to worry about it because Friday's is a crappy chain anyway. But then she warned me if I ever did that in Manhattan she would cut off my balls. I should have listened!

This is me on the way home from my first restaurant:

At first I was scared, my Manhattan mommy is a lot to handle. Instead of letting me walk around on my own four feet, she carried me in this comfy bag. During the winter she makes me wear boots so my feet don't get icy and cold. She has this hideous bonnett that I HAVE to wear for easter and these ugly sweaters that she dresses me in when the weather turns cold. She even tried to make me wear a raincoat.

What my mommy didn't know about me is that I am an equal match! I am as stubborn as a dog can be and sometimes when mom's not looking I take off my hat and chew it! Sometimes I get sick and my mom gets scared. One time I had a rash and she went searching for a doctor in the middle of the night! My mom sure does love me.

This blog is going to be about the great times I have in New York.